I had a session with my counselor on Wednesday and it went very well. Very, very well actually. As you know, if you have read any of my past ramblings, we (my counselor and I) are trying to correct a few things in my life. It all started with my I don’t give a damn attitude about everything from work to my health. It was one thing to try and get me motivated and change the attitude by my counselor, being the very perceptive woman that she is, was to look deeper into me and try and find underlying reasons for my attitude. If we could make changes at that level they should impact, for the better, all areas of my life, including the I don’t care attitude.
I have taken all or at least most of what we have discussed as well as the suggestions she has made and started applying as much as I can to my life. The key will be to get my social life revamped and see where that takes me. I have started, slowly, to work my way into the changes and even though I am taking baby steps, the whole scenario is overwhelming and intimidating. I won’t let that stop me though.
I won’t go into the details of what I am trying but trust me, it is a very huge thing for me. All of this would probably seem like it was a part of your everyday life and not be a very big deal to almost all of you. What I am trying to do is change radically from a loner to a more sociable person.
My counselor was thrilled to see the progress that I am already making. As for it being a big deal it doesn’t matter because I will do whatever I have to do in order to prevent my return to the severe major depressive time that I went through a few years ago. I don’t want to revisit that dreadful time ever again. It has to be done so that makes it important and it won’t change by itself. The pressure is on because it all relies upon me being successful.
Several years ago when there was pressure on me (mostly the self imposed type of pressure) I would go to bed, pull up the covers and sleep away the feelings of pressure. It worked but not very well.
What I liked best about my counseling session was how thrilled my counselor was at where I was landed but, I think, more pleased with my determination and mindset. That made me feel very good about myself.
Something else that made is a successful session for me was that I was able to come up with possible solutions in different areas of, what might be, upcoming situations. Example … I hate winter with a passion. I hate the cold, the snow, the extra clothes we have to wear, going to work in the dark then coming home in the dark with the only time you get to be in the sun is on the weekends (if it isn’t freezing and snowing). Driving can be unnerving because it can be quite difficult and dangerous. So what is the point of winter? I have no idea how it benefits anybody.
I, like many people, get down during the winter. Because I dislike it so much I don’t participate in outdoor activities and haven’t for years. When I was in my 20s I skied (downhill and cross country) I played outdoor hockey and went skating, when I was a kid I played a lot of road hockey. I don’t do those things so winter becomes a routine of getting up, going to work, coming home, walking the dogs and hibernating. That routine will bring anybody’s spirits down.
My suggestion was that on a weekly basis I will go out to dinner or a movie, by myself if necessary or with somebody. I believe that will help me make an easier transition from autumn to spring.
Anybody want to accompany me to dinner and/or a movie in Nov, Dec, Jan, Feb or Mar?
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