3 - Gone Fishing ...

During a conversation with my counselor recently we (she) decided that if I were to improve my social life and perhaps even fins a love interest, that my motivation would follow along and return. I believe that she is on the right track so I have decided to do what we discussed.

My problem lies in that I have no idea how to go about meeting women. I am not a bar person and not terribly interested in joining a group so what do I do? I joined an online dating site and have been blown away by the number of women looking at my profile and messaging me. Unfortunately, the vast majority of those looking at the profile and messaging me are not what I would call ... inviting. I swear that some of them look like they are 95 yet they give their ages as the same, or thereabouts, as mine.

I have shared a few messages with a couple of women and there might be something to pursue but I am certainly not holding my breath. I cannot explain why but I am extremely attracted to women between the ages of mid 30 to mid 40. I seem to relate to them better than any other age group.

I have one extremely close friend in California who is probably the most sensational person that I know ... mid 30, absolutely gorgeous, talented (singer, dancer), sometime musician and songwriter, model ... she just blows me away. She is also the only person that I know who I would live with.

I have a couple of other friends, both 40, and I get along with them very, very well. They are both very pretty, intelligent, fun and funny and nice to be with.

So, you're probably saying if they are all that wonderful and you get along with them so well, why not date them. There are several reasons for not being able to date any of them and there is no need to go into them here. I don't like any of the reasons but there is not a lot that I can do about them.

One thing that I find extremely rude of many if not most of the people on this dating site (and I am certain other sites are the same) is that you take the time to read a profile and if you are interested then you send a message. The number of people who have the courtesy to respond, even if it is to say no thanks, is very small.

Many of the messages that I receive are a single line ... Hi, I read your profile and it's really good so write back. I do and politely say that I am not interested. I put a lot of work into making up the lies in my profile and I expect more than a single line reply. When I contact somebody whose profile interests me I write a paragraph, or two or more. I relate to what they have written and ask questions/give information. I try to make it interesting and myself interesting at the same time.

It is frustrating not to receive a response when I think that I am a damn good catch for the right woman. Then again, I don't know of many women, yet, who would want to develop the kind of relationship that I am looking for. Yes, it would be en exclusive, monogamous relationship but I would have my house and she would have hers. We would get together every weekend, occasionally a night or two during the week, vacation together but at the end of most weeknights we go to our own houses.

I have lived alone for 6+ years now and I rather enjoy the privacy and freedom that living alone brings. I can do what I want, when I want to and I don't have to worry about pissing somebody off. I can burp, fart and scratch myself to my heart's content and nobody is around to make comments. I can eat whatever and whenever I want to do so. I can choose to watch sports or porn 24 hours a day and not offend anyone.

I also believe that, in spite of our best intentions, we do get into a rut when we are with somebody every day of the year. What is exciting in the beginning eventually becomes mundane and not so very special. By having separate homes and getting together as I described above, the exciting and special will remain that way for a much longer period of time. Sex would always be new and exciting and something to look forward to with a lot of anticipation (especially with notes sent or erotic phone calls made, describing what you plan to do to each other on the weekend).

So there is another rambling post telling you something about where my head is at these days.